Monday, November 3, 2008

Trials

I know we all go through our own trials and I do not want to be one to complain. Vent is more like it. I'm struggling with my kids these days. My sweet Lukas is turning into a 'sass'er and he (I'm embarrassed to admit) is spoiled. He freaks out when he doesn't get what he wants and he gets mad. He'll slam things down or hit things or pound his fists on the table. And he'll run out of the room saying "I'm not going to be your friend any more." Or occassionally he'll say, "I'm not going to be your son anymore!" He is so disrespectful to me sometimes, it makes me cry!! He demands things, like at the store he'll say, "Mommy, buy me a toy or I'm gonna be sad. You need to buy me something right now." Little stinker. Like I'm gonna fall for that one! I know he can be so sweet and he is happy a lot, but it's these other times that really get me down. And my Mr. Max is cute as can be, but is so busy and gets into things quicker than I can keep up. I was on the phone with my mom today and had to call her back several times b/c Max dumped out a packet of RED Kool-Aid onto the floor and somehow it got wet and he got it all over his hands and face and was walking around the house leaving his mark. Then he and Lukas were fighting and Lukas pushed him off the coffee table (that he shouldn't have been standing on) and cut his lip. I'm tired just explaining it all. Bedtime is a whole other issue. They share a room and now that Max is out of the crib it takes a least an HOUR to get them to settle down and go to sleep. Then half-way through the night, little feet find their way into my room to wake me up...EVERY NIGHT. I feel like I am doing something wrong. I can see the way that I handle things is rubbing off onto Lukas and the way he reacts to situations. I'm trying so hard to be a nice, happy mommy, but after hours of whining and crying and chasing after trouble I just can't take it anymore! I love my boys so much and I want them to have a happy childhood and grow up to be responsible adults. Then again, I want to be happy. And right now, I'm just drained.

8 comments:

Jen said...

I have the same thoughts everyday. It's like, "What the heck am I doing wrong?" All I know is they learn quickly how to push our buttons, and those sweet but naughty:) little spirits enjoy it!!! You are a good mom, and I would wonder about you if you never got impatient or lost your temper. That wouldn't be normal :) Every mom does. Give yourself a pat on the back. Just shut their bedroom door at night, lock the door from the outside, and let them knock themselves out!!!

Jen said...

And would you please tell Pat thank you again for putting up with our craziness for a while. It has been a hard decision for us to make, but I appreciate his patience and being there for us!!!

Tyler and Julia said...

I completely agree with what Jen said. JaNece, you are an excellent mom. I know it's hard and it gets frustrating when your kids push your buttons and try your patience. When this sort of thing happens to me I just have to keep telling myself, there is no such thing as the perfect mother. All we can do is our very best. Tyler & I are also VERY grateful for Pat too; for his patience, his help, his advice, and for his willingness to not try to pressure us into our big decision. We love you both and hang in there; I know I'm not the only one who knows that you & Pat are WONDERFUL parents!! :)

Windy said...

I love love love that you are so honest on your blog...let me tell you. I am sure you have heard me yell at Carter. I am SO glad to hear that your son does this beucase it makes me feel NORMAL! Boys...haha! Janece you are one amazing mom! I will tell you age 5 gets easier but the closer Carter gets to age 6..well the sassy is starting again haha. Will it ever get easier? I tell ya! I love Luckas and Max and I will tell ya they are two of the most sweetest boys around. Oh and the kool-aid...agg sounds like a nightmare. I would have lost it yikes!!!! You need a night out. You should let us watch your kids while you and Pat go out!! Seriously!!! Think about it!!

Christi said...

Oh JaNece! I'm sorry you are having such a rough day or days. You are such a great Mom! I hope that I can be half the mom you are if I'm ever able to have kids. Have you considered getting together with a friend or two and having a girls night out every once in a while? Maybe getting out with your girlfriends or even by yourself might help. Have Pat watch the kids and go have yourself some JaNece time. I bet it will do wonders on your sanity. Or, you can come to Denver for a visit and I will watch them and you can go out on the town. :)

Bkay said...

I agree with all of the words above, especially about a girls night out...okay, that is just me getting excited to think that maybe I could come and hang out with you! I know you are am amazing mom, you are blessed with all of the divine qualities to raise these wonderful spirits! I know Heavenly Father is very pleased with all that you have done and are doing to help those boys return to him someday. Take each day at a time, and let's get together for a play date...I think the boys would have a blast!

Roth Family said...

Kids are kids. I know you do a great job and that all the messes and fights are draining. I was feeling this way and someone suggested this to me.....it has really worked. Each kid gets there own cup. Then you use something that they can count (we use M&M's). Everytime they do something "good" (put shoes away, clean up, hang coat, help in the kitchen, go to sleep without fighting, brush teeth, anything) you decide how many m&m's they get. Then if they throw a fit, be mean, say something mean, or anything mean they physically have to remove however many m&m's you say and put them back in the big bowl. For us, on Sundays we count each of their m&m's . Each candy is worth 5cents. Then when we are at the store and they want something I just tell them they have their own money to do what they want and try to encourage them to save it of course. This is very hands on and so it helps them realize what they are doing. If they get grounded or do something just awful, they lose all the m&m's for the whole week. It has really helped my kids. Just an idea. Love you

Villarreal's said...

Can I just copy and past your post to my blog?!!! I felt everything you wrote and have been dealing with the same issues these days, I really hope it is just the stage she is going through. Thanks for your post, makes me realize I am not the only one going through it!
-Trisha